my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such
then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud
I’m sure that’s what he thought.
how my emotions work
pizza crust should be stuffed not my nose
jack off? wow why not jill off this is why we need feminism
i struggle between wanting to stay up late and wanting extra hours of sleep
|—||Unknown (via felicefawn)|
DO YOU EVER GET A REALLY GOOD HUG FROM SOMEONE AND YOU’RE LIKE WAIT NO HUG ME MORE
do australians call 611 for emergencies since they are upside-down?
I forgot the word “reindeer” today so I described them as “Christmas llamas” why
|—||me after trying to do literally anything (via sextpert)|
*snorts snow* I LOVE WINTER
waking up and getting out of bed during winter, more like
according to physics, nothing ever quite touches. when you lay your hand on something, there is a microscopic amount of space between the atoms of your hand and whatever you’re touching. so no, officer, technically i’m not jacking off right now